Week 3 Post-op

It's been over 3 weeks now since surgery and I can say I am finally starting to feel more human.   I am able to eat a lot more 'normal' foods.  I can go out with family and eat - just a much smaller portion and focus on the protein.  I won't say that it is 'easy' yet - as I am learning what my sleeve will tolerate and what it won't.  I throw up on an almost daily basis...and sometimes more than once a day.  And I still struggle with getting enough fluids/protein in and I'm still dizzy from a verticle to horizontal (or vice versa) position.  But all in all, I'm feeling almost human.  My stitches are almost healed, I can go walking longer distances, I can eat real food...life is pretty darn good.  :)

I didn't lose much this week (much to my dismay) but I am noticing differences in the way my clothing fits.   So I'm ok with that.   I figure my body is still in shock and trying to figure out what the heck happened to it.  :)

Here is my loss up to now.

	Starting Wt	Week 1 Preop	Week 2 Preop Surg Day	Week 1 (7/23/13)	Week 2	Week 3	Total
	318.2	316.2	306.0	303.2	291.2	287.8
Wt Loss	0.0	-2.0	-10.2	-2.8	-12.0	-3.4	-30.4

Week 2 Weigh In and Regrets

First off, let's look at the positive...

	Starting Wt	Week 1 Preop	Week 2 Preop Surg Day	Week 1 (7/23/13)	Week 2	Total
	318.2	316.2	306.0	303.2	291.2
Wt Loss	0.0	-2.0	-10.2	-2.8	-12.0	-27.0

So, the weight is falling off but if you asked me RIGHT THIS MOMENT if I'd do it again...I'd tell you no.   I suspect in a few months you'll hear me singing a different song.  But this first couple weeks have been really rough. 

This week I have been experiencing extreme dizziness and nauseousness.  Because I used a surgeon in MX it isn't like I can just go for a check up.  And because my insurance will exclude anything they deem related to weight loss surgery...I'd rather no one in the states even know that I had the surgery.  This morning I thought about Urgent Care or calling my primary doctor.  I finally emailed the surgeon who told me to get in more protein.  So I am trying that.

I suspect part of it is the body adjusting to all the changes.  It is also really difficult to get all your fluids in and all your protein in.   But I am trying my best.  And I'm hoping this will only last a few days.  Cause it really sucks to feel this way.  It's hard to be a single Mom working two jobs when your world is spinning.  And it is really scary when you wake up and can't even reach for your phone. 

Also, as you lose weight the fat cells release hormones...so your emotions are everywhere.  (And the anesthesia can cause depression that takes a month or so to wear off).  So I find myself just sitting and crying.

Ugh.  It will be worth it long term.  I have faith.

Recovery

First off...I did my one week weigh in on Tuesday.  At one week I'd lost 15 pounds total including preop loss.   I am currently seeing a 1 to 2 pound loss a day...so will be interesting to see what the two week loss looks like.

	Starting Wt	Week 1 Preop	Week 2 Preop Surg Day	Week 1 (7/23/13)
	318.2	316.2	306.0	303.2
Wt Loss	0.0	-2.0	-10.2	-2.8

I'm sorry I haven't been posting often.  This week was mostly about surviving and getting back into the swing of things.  I started back to work on Monday and by 3pm was falling asleep in my chair.  LOL. 

It's been a week of trying to get used to the new stomach.  It's really frustrating to not be able to eat whatever I want to eat.  Most liquids now go down without pain.  But the last couple days I've introduced protein drinks, a few bites of chicken and some greek yogurt as well.  There have been a couple other items that didn't go down well and came back up quickly.  Anything that is too thick seems to block gas from coming up and that seems to force it all back up.

Last night I went for my first true walk (have been walking in stores and such).  I drank water on the walk and then when I came home I tried a few sips of soup.  I experienced HORRIBLE pain but it didn't feel like my tummy.  It felt like my chest.  I was scared maybe it was a bloodclot.  Not knowing when something is serious or not is scary.  I took some gas x and put on a heating pad and it passed after a while.  So I am assuming it was some of the trapped gas from surgery.  I've heard it can be quite painful but so far I haven't experienced it.   Taking it very slow this morning.  Back to sipping Gatorade (only thing I've had today and its noon).  

I worry about my nutritional status.  I know I'm not getting hardly ANY calories/protein/etc.  I am doing my best.  And I'm having faith that in another week or two hopefully I'll be able to make up for lost time.

I did buy a few things this week to help with my weight loss.   I found a new peanut butter cookie flavored protein drink at the Vitamin Shoppe.  It's quite yummy...especially mixed with chocolate protein. 

I also went online and ordered a FitBit (to track walking),  a fancy tape measure, and a Omron fat measurer.   Coming soon to a mailbox near me...

 

Will try to check in more often!

 



 

 

5 days post op

Wow, so much has happened and I've been too busy to update.   I AM still alive and kicking.  :)

Let's see.  We left Hospital Nova on Thursday around 11am and went to Hospital Angeles for our leak test.  This hospital is where my surgeon's office is - but it is much more expensive so he uses it only to check for leaks.  We were taken directly back and swallowed our nasty stuff one by one.  We were able to see each others insides working (kinda cool) and we were given a copy of our results to bring home.  Everyone passed and we were taken to the Hotel Lucerna to check in.  Unfortunately it was early and our rooms weren't ready.  So we went across the street to a restaurant that we were told had good broth.  We had broth and then walked next door for Gatorade and then back to the hotel and checked in.  I was lucky enough to have a gorgeous pool view.  The others in the group weren't as lucky (parking lot view and way back view of the loud nightclub behind the hotel.)    We rested for a bit and then we were off again to go to the mall.  Took a taxi there but walked around at the mall and then took a taxi back.    I was done in and took a pain pill and was out by 10:00.

Friday I slept till 10:00.  Woke up and looked out my curtain and realized the rest of the group was sitting by the pool.  Got dressed with the intention of going down.  Dr. Kelly knocked on my door and said he just wanted to see how I was doing.  I wasn't doing well.  Every sip HURT (and I've had 5 surgeries and 2 kids and I am NOT a wuss).  I was in tears and couldn't stop crying.  I was freaking out that I would go home to the high heat and end up dehydrated because I couldn't drink.  He thought I was homesick at first.  I told him I was hurting.  He said he'd stop by later that evening with an anti-inflammatory shot to take down some of the swelling in the stomach and it'd make swallowing easier.  He gave me a hug and left.   I went down and joined the others who informed me they wanted to go to Revolution Row.  Daytime it is a tourist shop spot with vendors, zebra painted donkeys, etc.  Nighttime it turns into a party zone we were told.   We were warned by our driver not to go past a certain area (known as the 'red light district').  I think we all had a good time.  Bought a few things.  After a couple hours we headed back to the hotel.  I sat poolside with a book for awhile and then got some broth and went upstairs to wait for the Dr.  He had said between 6 and 8.  Turned out to be closer to 8:30.  There is no time in Tijuana I've learned.   He had his wife and son with him.  They gave me the shot and removed the drain from the hernia incision.  We talked a bit more at this visit.

This morning I got up at 7 and was ready by 8:00.  We had to build in 1 hour for border crossing and 1 hour for airport.  We finished a little early so we swung by the water and took some pics.  The surgeon's wife was our driver.  The others weren't flying out till later so she was going to drive them around and do some sightseeing once they dropped me off.  Their flights didn't leave for several more hours and apparently they only get 1 medical pass for the border per day.   Today the pain is significantly less.  Was able to drink a whole glass of water on the plane...felt like I'd accomplished a major feat.  :)

All in all, I felt the service was amazing in Tijuana.  I felt like the surgeon was quite competent and the nursing staff attentive.  Sometimes language was a barrier.  I am glad I happened to schedule on a day where there were others for company.  Sad I was put on a different floor and we weren't allowed off our perspective floors.  Their spouses did come check on me which was very nice.  I also felt like maybe the surgeon didn't have good bedside manner...but after the last visit where he was more social...I wonder if it was more him being respectful that I was a female traveling alone.  I know there was another surgeon in Tijuana which had some complaints of being less than a gentleman.  So maybe that is all it was...because he did spend more time visiting with the couples.  We were given meds for home, instructions for home, a work release letter, a copy of our surgical report, preop xray and post op leak test picture.   I didn't feel like anything was done "under the table" so to speak.   Overall, as positive as a 'surgical' experience can be.  :)

Here are a few pics from the trip if you are so inclined.

 

Wounds day after surgery.  1 up top, 4 in a row, then 2 more down low for the hernia repair.

Hotel Lucerna Pool Area:   There is one pool with the bridge going over center.

Close up of bridge.

Turtle earrings bought on Revolution Row.

Back view of Lucerna Hotel.
 
 

 

San Diego water view near airport.

 Tree roots.  Thought these were so cool I had to take a close up.

 

Same trees further away. 

 

And thus concludes my Tijuana journey...let the weight loss journey begin!

Day 1 Post Op

This morning I felt really good.  I walked the halls.  Took a shower.  Got some ice chips. 

Fast forward a bit, realized I wasn't feeling quite as good as I thought originally.  The gas began hurting.  Drinking ANY water hurts. 

But it is ok.  I will take it one day at a time and soon will feel better. 

Tomorrow we check out of the hospital and go to a different hospital for a 'leak test'.   After that we will go to the Hotel Lucerna for another two days to heal. 

They had to put a drain in my wound where the hernia was.  Said there was a lot of tissue and if a drain isn't put in then it fills with liquid and can get infected.  So that will need to be removed tomorrow before we check out as well.

Ready to get out of here.  Extremely bored. 

And thus begins the rest of my life...

Officially sleeved!

Bear with my typing.  Hard to do with the IV and meds are also on board.  But I wanted to try and chronicle my experience thus far.

Showed up at airport and 8:30az time for my 9:30 flight to San Diego.  Arrived in San Diego and waited for van to pick me up.  I was the last patient arriving.  The surgeon's wife picked up 2 other patients and their support person and then me last.  Everyone was SO nice and we chatting as we were driven down.  It was a wild drive here....felt like a rollercoaster ride.  Crossed over the border and saw the guards with their guns.  Our car was pulled over for a quick search.  And then were were on our way.

Arrived at Nova.  We were taken to registration where we signed our release forms.  Then we were weighed and measured and taken to a holding room.  There we received our IV and did our preop tests (xray, bloodwork, ekg, visit from pulmonologist.   This was scary to me because my nurse didn't speak English and I wasn't sure where/why I was being taken.  I think they put something in the IV to help with nerves because I felt better after the IV was in.  The pulmonologist came in and listened to my heart and lungs.  Said I was healthy. 

Spent several hours waiting and then suddenly it was time.  They wheeled me down to the OR in a wheelchair - I walked into the OR and laid on the table.  And within seconds they had ne knocked out.

Don't remember recovery at all...assume I went to one.  Woke up slowly in a room by myself with oxygen on.  It was difficult...like coming through a fog.  I eventually came to enough to roll onto back.  About that time the wife of one of the other patients came in to see how I was doing.  It was SO nice to have someone checking in.  She called down and got my purse and laptop out of storage so I could update FB and let everyone know I was alive. 

A couple more hours and she visited again.  Helped me up to the bathroom and walked with me in the hall  Came back and went back to sleep. 

Just woke up and am feeling pretty darn normal...not like a person who just had major surgery.  Hope it still feels this good tomorrow.  :)

Ok, struggling to stay awake.  Think I'll take quick walk and get some sleep.

2 sleeps and Post Op Diet

I can't believe it is getting SOOOOO close!  I even started packing my bag today.

I did get my post-op diet plan from my doctor today and can I just say, "OMG, kill me NOW?"   Every surgeon's diet plans are different.  Usually there is a full liquid stage, followed by a pureed stage, followed by a soft food stage (scrambled eggs for example), and the full food.  At full food we need to eat protein first and it should be half of our meal, then vegetables/fruits, and if there is room left carbs.   Mostly I've seen a week to two weeks at each stage. 

I can't believe my surgeon doesn't have us eating anything until 3 weeks out!  Holy cow...two weeks preop and three weeks post op...I damn well better be MELTING after that long on liquids!

This is my surgeon's plan:

Day 2 thru Day 7

Clear broth or bouillon

100% no sugar added apple/cranberry/juice diluted 50% with water (max 8 oz day)

Tea/Coffee (I don't drink either)

Sugar free jello

Sugar free popscicles

Flavored water of choice

1 1/2 cups Gatorade

64oz water

Chewable multi and D3 vitamin

 

Day 8

Add 1/2 c skim milk

 

Day 10

Add liquid protein drinks

 

Days 22-28 (soft foods)

Pureed oatmeal

Cream of wheat thinned

Cottage cheese (low fat or fat free)

Egg whites

Yogurt

Pureed beans

Ricotta cheese

Sugar free pudding

Pureed soups

Potatoes (mashed/boiled/baked)

Pureed cooked vegetables

Pureed fruit

 

Day 29+ (Full Food)

Deli shaved meats

Fish

Shellfish

Tofu

Beans and lentils

Yogurt

Cheese (less than 5 g fat per serv)

Crackers (less than 3 g fat per serv)

Toast

Cream cheese (reduced fat)

Nut butters

Soups

Oatmeal

Vegetables/Fruits

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

4 more sleeps...

Wow...it is fast approaching.   Today I went to the bank and got the certified check for my surgeon...suddenly I felt scared.  Haven't really been scared up to now.  But now it suddenly seems real.  YIKES.  Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

And, as long as I am freaking myself out...I also finalized my Will today.  I wanted to make sure everything was legally taken care of in case something happens.  It isn't like I have a ton of money or anything...just a simple will (kids go to ex or in his absence my brother, I want my organs to be donated and my body cremated, and I don't want to be kept alive artificially).  That simple will was over 50 pages in length, required 5 signatures and notarization and witnesses.  Good grief.  But it is done.

Still on liquid diet.  Want to gnaw my arm off.  I wonder if this is how cannibalism started?

Tried several more protein sources.  Haven't found any more that I really like.  I found a chocolate and vanilla that were tolerable but had an aftertaste.   Will keep trying more.   Would like to have a few choices so I don't get sick of one protein after surgery.  

Funny story...was at the coffee shop doing my will and the lady who worked there asked what we were working on.  I told her it was my will and that I was having surgery Tuesday in Tijuana.  She asked what kind of surgery and I told her.  She said she had a friend who did it 8 months ago in Tijuana and he looks great.  Turns out it was the same surgeon as well.  "It's a small world after all..."

6 sleeps and counting...

First off, I am going to pat myself on the back.  It is day two of liquid diet and so far I've been perfect on it.  And probably even more monumental for me?  I've been trying lots of new foods/proteins.  I am a creature of habit and hate trying new foods.   So this is huge for me.

So what have I found?

Foods I've liked:
Sobe Lifewater
ONE protein source that I actually liked (Syntrax Strawberry Mousse)

  
ONE flavor of Yoplait Greek Yogurt (Tropical Fruit)

Foods I've disliked:
EAS Advantage RTD (literally couldn't finish half of one and won't drink the others)
all other flavors of Yoplait Greek yogurt (peach I took one taste of and pitched it)
Unjury's chicken broth protein (drank about half and had to throw rest away)

Foods that are adequate:
Vitamin Zero Waters
Premier Protein RTD Chocolate flavor

I am still working my way through my samples of protein powders.  I was thrilled to find one I actually liked today.   Still have probably 20 more to try so I'm nowhere near finished yet.

Almost ten years ago I was planning on having gastric bypass surgery and chickened out.  Here I find myself ten years later and think of all the time I've lost and opportunities I have had to pass up.  No matter how scary this gets...I need to be brave and not chicken out this time.  If it's my time, it's my time.  The chances of dying are small but after losing my Mom to surgical error I am a little nervous.  I will keep reminding myself of this quote.

7 more sleeps!

It's getting SO close! 

I finished my first week of preop diet and lost 2 pounds.  My starting weight (according to my scale) was 318.2...now down to 316.2.  

Started week two of preop diet today.  Only fluids this week.  It's day one and I am STARVING.  Not sure how I'm going to make it for a whole week.

I was sitting watching TV last night when my phone rang.  I was surprised to hear it was my surgeon!  It was nice putting a voice to a name.  I asked about procedures for blood clots and also about my hernia possibly getting in the way.  He assured me he had it under control.  I felt better after I got off the phone. 

Stopped by GNC today and picked up a couple ISOPURE's to try.  I'm hoping maybe they will be better than some of the other protein options.  I tried a RTD chocolate flavor today and mixed in a couple teaspoons of PB2 powder in it.  I was able to drink about half before I couldn't drink any more.  This afternoon I tried Unjury's Chicken Broth protein.  At first I thought it tasted ok but I could only finish about half before I was gagging on it.  I think it's mostly in my brain at this point.  Ugh...going to be a long few weeks trying to get back to solid foods so I can get most my protein from food and not these nasty drinks.   Will continue trying out different samples in hopes I'll find one I at least like.

On a totally different note - we had water damage to our house on Friday evening.  They will be tearing out carpeting in 3 rooms as well as cutting up drywall in those three rooms.  This is going to be one LONG week and it'll be chaos to come home to after surgery.  But I'm not changing my plans at this point.  Full speed ahead.

Yay for Sobe!

In my quest for new products I have found one that I really, really like.  It is a flavored water by SoBe.  The flavor is Fuji apple pear.  And it really tastes like watered down apple juice.  It is nummy!  It has 0 calories and a few vitamins...but it isn't a vitamin water per se.

This week has been interesting.  For the most part...I've followed the preop diet.  I was able to give up my Mt Dew cold turkey.  However I slipped and bought a coke one day just out of habit (and yes I did drink it).  Had a VERY stressful weekend and would have loved an alcoholic drink but I passed on it.  I suspect I'll see a couple pound loss this week but we'll see.

I did go shopping this week.  Found liquid calcium citrate.  Tried another protein drink (this one is green and a little more like a drink than a shake...still not sure I'm sold on it).  Bought some EAS Advantage to try.  Bought some slipper socks, a new nightshirt, a short extension cord (for computer/phone at the hospital because my cord won't be long enough), and some smell good goodies from Bath and Body works.  Also bought juices and waters for the upcoming liquid diet.  (NOT looking forward to this phase.)

On a different note, met with my counselor this week.  She told me that anesthesia has been shown to cause depression in those people already prone to depression.  And that it is temporary.  She said it'll last 3-4 weeks or however long it takes for the anesthesia to completely leave my body.  She just wanted me to be aware and to be thinking ahead of time about what things replenish me...so I could be ready.  Oh joy. 

That's it for today.  Will check in Tuesday with a 1 week preop weigh in.  Hard to believe only about a week to go!

2 Weeks To Surgery...Preop Diet Started

Last night...I had a food funeral.  I didn't pig out...but I did choose my favorite Mexican food place for dinner and I did have a 32 oz Mt Dew.    I thought about chocolate/candy/ice cream/alcohol - but ultimately decided I really didn't want any of them that much.  Yay me!  So I settled on a chimi and a soda.

Woke up today ready to start.  This means I am getting closer to surgery.  Closer to my new life.  I am excited and ready to begin.  Less scared...more excited.

Only problem...Ummm...I haven't gone grocery shopping yet.   So my choices of 'healthy' foods are minimal.   Will fix that problem this afternoon.

I have started experimenting with a few different things.  I've tried several protein drinks thus far...'Oh Yeah' chocolate, strawberry, and cookies and cream.   (Of those my 'favorite was cookies and cream, followed by the strawberry...but both still had that protein smell/flavor pretty strongly.)  I tried Premier Protein chocolate (RTD).  I liked it better than the Oh Yeah's.   Will continue to experiment.  Since next week is full liquids...I will have lots of opportunity to try more.

I also bought some vitamin waters.  I bought one of the store brands and then several of the 'Vitamin Water Zero's'.  Most were 'ok'....but my favorite was the Strawberry Guanana (or however they spelled it).  I barely got a chance to try the lemonade (kids ran off with it) and I didn't get to try the fruit punch (once again...dang kids).

Lastly, I bought some greek yogurts.  I know plain would be lower in sugars...and can add my own fruit.  But I now I bought some of the Yoplait Greek Yogurts.  Let me preface this by saying I do NOT like yogurt...never really have.  I did find ONE flavor of regular yogurt that I would eat...but usually I won't eat yogurt.  It is a combination of texture and sourness.  But I know after this surgery I'll need good protein sources.  So I sucked it up and bought one of each flavor to try.   Today I had the Tropical Fruit flavor...and oh MY....I actually LIKED it.  Like licked the bowl liked it!  Texture was thicker than regular yogurt (which was a plus for me) and it didn't have that tang or aftertaste.  Yay!  

1 container (5.3oz) has 100 calories, 0 g of fat, 14g of total carbs, 9 g of sugar, 10g of protein (and is 2 weight watchers points if you're using that program).  I do think the carbs/sugars might be a bit high for after surgery...but sometimes you pick your battles.  And getting in protein is the most important thing.  As long as I can tolerate it post surgery I would have these once in awhile.  It is the lowest of all the ones they had on the shelves that were premade.  A lot of people brag on the plain Fage brand and they mix in their own fruit.  May have to try that eventually (can also use it as a dip and such).

Anyways...that's where I'm at today.  Still want to find some gripper socks for walking the hospital halls.  Still need to buy some vitamins (did buy some Centrum Silver Chewables and they taste nasty) but still need Calcium Citrate and possibly a couple others.  Looks like I will be traveling alone.  :(  So am going to try and find some cheap $5 movies at Walmart and take my computer with me.  Maybe set up Skype since WiFi is available but using cell phone costs money.

Pre-Op and a Hospital Change

Received an email message letting me know that my surgeon has changed to using a different hospital.  I've heard reviews from people who have been to the hospital and I'm not concerned at all about the change.

For those who want to know more about my surgeon, here is his website: http://www.wlsclinic.com/surgical-team/surgeons/ricardo-ramos-kelly/

And here is a youtube video showing a tour of the hospital...Hospital Nova:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_Jrcv4pVYQ

For those that have asked I do have to do a 2 week preop diet in order to shrink the liver and make the surgery safer.  This is what my pre-op diet looks like:

Days 1-7
Choose low fat foods/avoid fried foods.
Stop using all sugar (can use substitutes).
Stop drinking sugar sweetened beverages.
Start weaning off caffeine and carbonated beverages.
Eat 3 meals a day.  Do not skip any.
Decease portion sizes.  Eat more fruits and vegs.
Practice drinking water between meals, not with meals.
Drink 64 oz water a day.
Avoid alcohol.
Begin some form of exercise.
Practice chewing foods 20-40 times to paste consistency.
Avoid salt intake to reduce swelling after surgery.

Days 8-14 Full Liquid Diet
Diet will consist of high protein supplements that are low carb. 
(I assume they are talking protein drinks here.)
Low fat fruit juice, chicken broth, cream soups, skim milk and yogurt are allowed.
Calorie intake limited to 1000-1200 a day.
Drink 48-64 oz of water each day.
Solid foods are NOT allowed.

Don't have that much longer before I start the preop diet.  Getting in those last lunches and happy hours.  :)  Also need to go finalize my Will...just in case.  Time is flying by.

Traveling as a Fat Person Sucks

Sorry I've been MIA but I went out of town to a family reunion.  Thus my subject for today. 

We are waiting to board the plane and my son (12) asks if we are sitting together.  We fly Southwest where there are no assigned seats.  So I told him I didn't know for sure and asked him why.  He said he didn't want to sit next to me.  I asked why and he said, "because you take up all of your seat and half of mine".   OUCH.  Ok, I really do NOT take up half of his...but I do like to lift up the armrest between us so I'm not painfully squished and then I probably take up an inch or so of his space.

But the plane was full and I had to sit in a row with two strangers.  No lifting of the arm.  Uncomfortably squished.  Leaning away from the guy in the middle as much as possible so I wasn't in his space (especially after son's comment).  By the time I got off the plane my back was killing me.

Then we drive to the motel...and find out they assigned us a 2nd floor room.  This is an old motel so it meant stairs.  And steep stairs.  I had to take the steps one at a time and felt like an old lady with my painful knees.  By the second night I couldn't sleep because my knees and hips were hurting so bad.  Even enough Bengay to make the room smell like a geriatric ward didn't ease the pain.  So I stayed up all night and finally passed out the next day...and slept through the whole days activities.

Then we visited an old friend whom I hadn't seen in over 20 years.  We all took a tour of a WWII submarine.  I almost didn't go down at all because I was afraid I wouldn't fit.  I've been on an aircraft carrier as a child and remember how tight it was.  My friend assured me I would be fine and I wanted pics of my kids so I went.  There were a couple tight areas...and lifting my legs high enough to get through the "doors" was a chore.  I opted not to go into the tightest areas but was able to do most of the sub and get some good pics of my boys.  Am happy I went.

The trip home was better as we all were able to sit together.  Lifted the armrest and used sons tray table for my drink.

All through the trip I kept telling myself that this will be the LAST time I will EVER travel and be this uncomfortable.  I don't care how scared I may be in regards to surgery...the way I'm living right now isn't quality of life.  I can't just go on a simple trip (let alone an adventure trip) without pain and discomfort.  These are the reasons I need to do this surgery.  I wish I didn't need to.  I still sometimes think, "maybe I should just do Weight Watchers again" - but then I remind myself if I COULD have done it in the past I WOULD have done it in the past.  It didn't work for me.  Even if I could lose the weight...I couldn't maintain the weight and every time I ended up heavier and heavier. 

Less than 2 weeks still I start my pre-op diet.  I am trying to squeeze in all those happy hour and dinner's with friends that I can.   Won't be able to do them again for awhile.  Eventually I will be able to...just much less food.   Stay tuned for more updates!

Regrets and Updates

I have been reading a lot of surgery forums and ran across a couple postings of people who regret having had weight loss surgery.  One I could understand.  She was truly one of the 2% that had major complications.  But the others I couldn't understand.  One posted that it had ruined her social life - that she was no longer able to go out with her friends because she hadn't told her friends she was having surgery.  So now she stayed at home alone and was miserable.  The other was a woman who said having surgery ruined her marriage.   To me, the more I read the postings from these two women...the more the 'victim' mentality showed.  If I had to guess these people were miserable to start with and thought weight loss surgery would fix all their problems.   I'm smart enough to know this isn't a fix all.  I do know from past experience that losing weight improves my self esteem and that makes me feel more empowered.  I know I'll have more energy and that opens up new opportunities.  But it won't fix any problems I have...I have to figure those out and fix them myself. 

I know most people have "buyers remorse" during the early weeks.  That isn't uncommon.  You are in pain.  You can only have liquids/soft foods.  You generally have a stall in weight loss at about 3 weeks as your body is accommodating.  You are grieving food and the relationship you had with it.  You are feeling kinda crappy and can't use food to make yourself feel better.   This is all normal. 

So, in expectation of this - I talked with my counselor's office today to see if I could make more frequent visits for the first few months.  And wouldn't you know it...the week I go for surgery...she leaves on six weeks of vacation!  So when I met with her she told me that she'll be back in town briefly at least once (if not twice) during that six week time and she'd be seeing select patients if I wanted to see her.  So looks like I'll be good to go on that front.  

As far as an update...I am still trying to find someone to go to Mexico with me.  My two possibilities fell through due to family obligations.  Although lots of people go alone...I really would prefer not to. 

I also got some samples from Optimum Nutrition of their protein powders...for FREE.  I went on their website because I heard they had a cake batter flavor.  I couldn't find it on their website.  So I sent them an email asking about it and asking if they had sample sizes for purchase.  They graciously responded back and said they would send me some samples of the flavors they had available.  

I also stopped by Sprouts today (my first time ever).  I've heard lots of positives about Jay Robb protein - and I was happy to see single packets of this at Sprouts.  I bought one of each flavor to try (vanilla, choc, and strawberry).  I also found they had single serving sizes of Almond Breeze 'milk' which I've heard lots of positive things about (it's only 40calories) and they had chewable calcium citrate which seems to be impossible to find.    So lots of good things...will have to go back when I have more time.  They also had multivitamins from Emergen-C that you mix with water and drink...want to check the label on those.

Slightly over a month to go....

Things I am Looking Forward To

I don't know what has happened...but suddenly I feel like I am READY...wish I were having surgery tomorrow instead of a month from now.   With that in mind, I've been thinking about some of the things I am looking forward to and thought I'd share them with you.  Maybe I'll come back and edit this post later and check them off as I complete them?

1)  Putting on my socks/shoes without having to go through contortions.
2)  Being able to do regular activity all day and not have my knees ache at night.
3)  Being able to wear my seatbelt in the car without it digging into my body.
4)  Being able to wear a seatbelt on a plane (I'm too embarrassed to ask for an extension so I just pretend I have one on and put a book over where it'd connect...figure if the plane goes down I'm going to die anyways!)
5)  Being able to put down the tray on a plane.
6)  Being able to fit in an armed chair without the arms digging into me.
7)  Being able to go on amusement park rides with my kids.
8)  Being able to buy clothes in a regular store off the rack.
9)  Being able to live a more active lifestyle (go ziplining, join a softball league, etc).
10) Being able to ride my cycle (get on and off it) without hip pain...and ultimately to look like the woman in the bottom picture instead of the woman in the top picture.

What things are YOU looking forward to?  Or if you've already had surgery, what are some of the things you can do now that you couldn't do before?  Leave me a comment and share!

Fun Mail and New Beginnings

Yesterday, my mailbox was full of fun mail instead of bills...well, fun mail IN ADDITION TO the bills.  :)   So what did it hold?

Well, first off, it contained this:

This contained my passport card.  I can now legally go to Mexico for surgery (and get back home...that's the key important part LOL.)

And secondly, I received this:

Tracy, over at My Tiny Tank, offers regular drawings for people who post comments to her blog.  And I won this awesome t-shirt!   Can't wait to wear it after I get MY tiny tank.  :)

I came home today to find that my dog climbed up on the table and got ahold of my sample packs of protein.  Protein packs everywhere...but luckily not really ripped open.  She'd ripped off the plastic bags they were in...but apparently even a dog is smart enough not to eat this stuff.   LOL.

I've been divorced now for a couple years.  I have to say it really was a difficult decision to make (after almost 20 years together) but it was the best decision.  Last night I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a few years.  In talking she told me she was going through a divorce as well and I told her I'd also been through one recently.   This led me to thinking about changes - about how difficult they really are for some people to make.  Personally I HATE change.  But sometimes you have to make a change in order to grow.  Since my divorce I've blossomed.  I've got a master's degree, I've bought a house, I've been able to afford to take my boys on a real vacation, I've tried new things (hot air balloon ride, dancing lessons, mixology classes), I've even bought a motorcycle and got my permit to drive.   If I had stayed with my ex - I'd still be stuck in the muck.  Instead I've been freed to move and set down roots in ways that have encouraged growth.  Was it scary?  Yes.  Was it difficult?  Yes.  Was it worth it?  You bet my big old booty!

I'm a little scared about weight loss surgery.   I do feel less scared of the VSG than I was of the RNY...but I'm still a little scared.  I won't be able to use food the way I have in the past.  It won't be my friend.  I can't curl up with a pint of Ben and Jerry's "Everything But The..." ice cream when I'm sad.  I won't be able to pour a glass of Mt Dew when I feel tired.  But it's ok.  Because it is another new start - I have to be willing to take the risk in order to grow.  (or in this case shrink).

Thoughts and Updates

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. 

First off, I have been doing a ton of research on RNY vs VSG (the sleeve).  And I am honestly leaning towards the sleeve.  The main reason the RNY had the advantage for me was that I thought the 'dumping syndrome' would help keep me honest.  But when I found out only 30% of people dump - I decided I needed to weigh the options with that removed.   The sleeve has less complications, faster recovery, no rerouting of my insides, less chance of malnutrition, it is NOT reversible but it can be changed to a RNY or a DS later if I'm not getting the results I need/want.  But from what I'm seeing many people have been very successful at losing much more than I need to lose.  It will all come down to me making the right changes in my life.  If I eat ice cream  or drink soda every day - I can still gain weight.  But if I eat protein first and then my fruits/vegs and THEN if I have room add any carbs...then I'll be successful.   I previously lost about 80 pounds on Weight Watchers and was really good at maintaining it for a couple of years.  I ate right, I did cardio, I did weight training.  I even completed a half marathon.  But I had to go off my plan for several weeks to take care of my Dad as he died from cancer - and the combination of being off plan and the depression afterwards threw me completely off and I never was able to get a handle on it again.  So of course I still fear that.  I know it's a possibility to regain and that even a certain amount of regain is expected after any weight loss surgery.  But I'm hoping the tiny tummy will remind me if I start to falter.  And the upside is that even if I eat something unhealthy...I can't eat as much of it.   Also, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but they remove the portion of the stomach that is said to produce the "hungries."   So not only do you have a smaller stomach, but you have less of a desire to fill it.   For me, honestly, the deciding factor was the complication rates being lower.  Since I am paying out of pocket - any complication has the potential of ruining me financially.  The biggest complication of the sleeve is a leak and even that complication rate is under 2%.  

SO, with all this in mind, I emailed my surgeon's office to inquire about switching.  They said it was not a problem.  That it costs $1,000 less (yay!).  The length of stay is just as long.  The recovery time is faster (can return to work in a week).  I asked about leaks and was told he uses staples and a suture line on the stomach to ensure no leaks. He has had 2 leaks in 17 years and over 10,000 surgeries.  He checks for leaks twice (once in the OR and once before release).  And, since leaks tend to show up later down the line after the swelling goes down - I was also happy to find out if there are complications during or after surgery that Dr. Kelly will attend to them for up to a year after free of charge. 









 

Gastric Bypass vs Gastric Sleeve

Allow me to think aloud while I also share some information.  When it comes to gastric surgery options there are really three options.  (There actually are more but I'm only going to cover three here as they are the most common).  Keep in mind this is MY knowledge and therefore is quite fallible.  :) 

1)  Lap Band - This is fully reversible.  It is a band (silicone I believe) that is wrapped around the top of the stomach which creates a pouch.  There is a 'port' that is just under the skin and your doctor can add additional liquid to tighten the band or remove fluid to loosen the band (if, for example you become pregnant and need to eat more).   This is only a restrictive procedure.  Plusses:  it is reversible, it is adjustable, it isn't a major surgery.  Negatives:  Requires more 'upkeep' (filling of band) and also the band sometimes embeds in the stomach or other complications requiring either removal of the band or a revision to one of the other options.   For the non squeamish here is a video of an actual procedure.

2)  Gastric Sleeve - This is an operation where they remove a portion (approximately 80%) of your stomach - obviously since they remove the portion of the stomach it is not reversible.  Everything else stays intact.  Once again, this is only a restrictive procedure.  The portion that remains resembles a banana and thus it gets it's name of a sleeve.  This is a newer procedure.  Plusses:  No risk of a band imbedding, no 'rerouting' of your intestines, smaller chance of needing vitamins.   Negatives:  Overall loss not quite what it is for a RNY bypass.  Also, since it is a newer procedure it doesn't have a track record.  People do also start with a sleeve and then revise it to a RNY for further loss.  For the non-squeamish here is a video of an actual procedure.

3)  Gastric Bypass or Roux-en-Y (also seen shortened down to RNY) - This is the 'gold standard' and has been around the longest.   A new stomach is created - the stomach is bypassed and a smaller 'stomach' (aka stoma) is created with the intestines. The stoma is connected and rerouted to bypass a large portion of intestines. This reduces absorption of nutrients and calories as well as offering restriction.  Plusses: High expected weight loss, has been performed hundreds of thousands of times thus side effects and complications are known, for people who have a problem with sweets - approximately 30% of people having RNY will experience an unpleasant experience deemed as 'dumping' which acts as a further deterrent to sugars offering a better chance of success.  Negatives:  Major surgery, longer recovery time, side effects of leakage, bleeding, vomiting possible. Because of malabsorption there is a possibility of malnutrition.  Thus regular blood tests and daily supplements and vitamins are required.  Here is a video of that procedure as well.

So, which one am I considering?

Well, at first I thought I wanted a sleeve.  The removal of the stomach scared me - but it is a straightforward surgery with fewer complications and less followup required.  It has a quicker recovery time.  And from what I can find it generally produces between a 60 and 70% weight loss (whereas bypass produces around 70%).  The sleeve does take a little longer because it doesn't have the malabsorption component but long term (2 years) the amount lost appears to be very similar.

So I went and talked to the surgeon.  The surgeon asked about my eating habits.  I'm not a binge eater.  I actually eat pretty reasonably sized meals and I'm the world's slowest eater.  My issues are emotional eating and sweets - added with the PCOS that's not a good combination.  Anyways, based on that information the surgeon recommended the RNY.  He felt like the 'dumping syndrome' would give me the greatest chance of success.  It would address my issues better. 

Since, then I've been thinking I wanted RNY.  But I was recently studying and found the statistic that only 30% of people actually experience dumping.  So I have a much greater chance of it NOT happening.  And in exchange I have to be worrying about more complications and more follow-up.  These are issues because my health insurance will not cover any expenses related to weight loss surgery of any kind (so I will be out of pocket for any complications, follow up blood work, etc).  So, the last few days I've been rethinking which surgery I should have.   This video discusses the two I'm considering and the differences between them.

I guess more research is in order.  If anyone reading this has any input I'd love to hear it.  :)

Protein Quest - Review of Oh Yeah Chocolate Milkshake

I am on a quest...the quest to find (hopefully) not only a non-gaggable protein drink but hopefully one I like.  I have ordered several sample packs of powdered protein and also am picking up a few single bottles of premade drinks to try.

My first attempt at protein was a disaster at best.  I can't say it was the powder's fault...but more the fact I've never made a protein drink I think.  I added too much ice and blended it.  It ended up as slightly flavored ice and a lot of it.  It wasn't drinkable. 

So today I decided to try a ready to drink option.  This line has lots of great reviews.  It comes in chocolate milkshake, strawberry, and cookies and cream.  I think you can also buy it in vanilla online.  But the singles I've found are only in the first three flavors.  Today I tried the chocolate milkshake.

The first thing I noticed was the consistency.  It is REALLY thick.  It didn't smell bad - although it did smell a little off.  I poured a shot glass full (figure this is about all I'll be able to drink down at a time after surgery anyways) and tried a sip.  It wasn't horrible.  It wasn't something I'd buy because I loved the taste either.  But it was tolerable and thus will stay in the running as a possible option.   It keeps for 48 hours after opening and has 32 grams of protein.  So even though it was costly - I see one bottle of this being enough for a day as long as I add in some other options that have protein.  Worst case would be two of them a day.  And they are much cheaper if bought online in bulk.

My oldest son (who LOVES chocolate milk) wanted to try it.  I told him to go ahead and try it.  He actually liked it and took the rest of the bottle off to his room to finish.  So, I guess that says something about the taste.  :)

I've heard totally conflicting stories on the need for "non food" protein after surgery.  Everyone says you need some protein drinks for immediately following surgery.  But from there I hear different stories.  I hear some people say they are able to get all their protein from food...and other people say to get used to it because you'll need at least one protein drink every day for the rest of your life.  I guess this is something I will have to find out for myself.  I think some will depend on what foods I can tolerate.  I like meats, eggs, and cheese so as long as I can tolerate those foods I think I'll do ok.  Greek yogurt is another good source but I'm not a big fan of yogurt (or cottage cheese).  I have an issue with "non solid" foods.  I've never been a huge fan of things like puddings/jello/etc.  I want to chew my food.  And it's wholly a texture thing...not taste.   Shelly (from The World According to Eggface) uses protein powder to make things like protein drops (yogurt with some protein mixed and frozen in ice cube trays), popscicles, ice cream etc.   So, hopefully, even if I can't all my protein in food maybe I won't have to live on drinks alone.  :)

I am really hoping I can get to the point where I see food as fuel.  Where I eat to live instead of living to eat.   As much as I wish my Dad could have found a healthy medium of a "healthy LIFEstyle" - I still have to admire that he was able to see food purely as fuel.  I do wish he'd been able to occasionally do things like eat outside of the house because my Mom loved to eat out - so it affected her happiness.  And I wish he hadn't been so strict with what we could/couldn't eat as kids - because I think that is why I have such an obsession with sweets.  But I still have to admire his dedication.  In the end it didn't save him (damn cancer) but he was still running 10K races up into his mid to late 60's and still walking daily up into his late 80s.  So it did give him quality of life for a long time even if it didn't save him from cancer.  There have been many times in my life where I wished I had his will power.  I am hoping this surgery will give me the tool to be able to be more in control.

Prepping

Of course, the first step in prepping is lots of research. 

The first site I use is Obesity Help.  This is where I started my research for Mexico.  On the forums I was able to ask about others who have done the same thing.  It's also helpful to read of others successes and trials.  I will admit that it's also scary to read of their complications.

The second site I fell in love with is The World According to Eggface.  She is a former gastric bypass patient (over 10 years ago) and she is a foodie.  So she has modified regular recipes as well as made up recipes for using protein powder (ie protein ice cream, protein shakes, protein drops).  She has regular give aways and reviews products.  In general, easy to read and informative. 

The third site I'm loving is My Tiny Tank.  She is also post surgery (13 years) and her blog is less about the food but more about her personal daily experience.  She does post daily.  She has had some regain and is working to try and get it off.  I have had a few emails with her and love that she is very open to answering questions.  And, for those people who can't make it to a local support group, she offers a support group via a conference call.

I've visited many others...but these are the ones I visit on a regular basis. 

From suggestions of these sites...I've started acquiring a basket of supplies I will need.  The man in brown has been doing lots of stops at my house.   Here is part of the bounty:

What is included?  Well Gas-X strips, lots of samples of protein powders, a couple shakers for the protein and a thermometer for the chicken soup protein option (too hot it kills it), sugar free puddings to use as either pudding or as flavorings in the protein drinks, sugar free drink mixes to add to water, small ramekin dishes (many people use toddler size plates and utensils and I'm not sure I will but I did like the idea of these little ramekins as bowls because regular bowls are SO big), and lastly a product called PB2 which is a powdered peanut butter.  You can add water to reconstitute - or you can add (as is) to protein drinks.  It has significantly less fat that regular peanut butter.

Not shown (but purchased) is an ice cream maker (so I can make eggface's protein ice cream), a food processor (so I can puree foods for the soft foods stage), a hand mixer (for protein drinks, etc), and a six pack of sugar free Torani flavorings (to add to protein drinks).   There are still things on my list - such as vitamins.  But it's getting there.  I'm glad I gave myself a couple months to get ready.  (Although there is part of me that freaks out and considers NOT doing it because I have so much time on my hands.)  But I know I want to live an enjoyable life while I still have time.  And everything else has failed.

The Plan

I had a consult with a local surgeon - but found out that my insurance excludes all weight loss surgeries.  Actually, my insurance excludes anything to do with weight loss (which makes perfect sense...NOT)  In addition to excluding weight loss surgery...if I opt to pay out of pocket for surgery...my insurance also excludes any future expenses that they deem are related.   This bit of news sent me home feeling hopeless...doomed to a life where everything hurt and where enjoyment was hard to find.

So, I made the decision to have the surgery in Mexico.  I feel like some people have been less than supportive of that decision.  Not necessarily of surgery - but the choice to have it in Mexico.  So, why did I make this decision?  Well, first off was the cost.  The surgery that costs $22,000 in the U.S. will cost about 1/3 of that in Mexico.   Secondly, I truly believe that the care provided will equal (if not exceed) that of the U.S.   Thirdly, accidents (and complications) happen - whether in Mexico or the United States.  My Mom died from sepsis after a surgical error.  Fourth, I have researched the particular surgeon and feel like he is competent.  He has performed over 5,000 of these surgeries.  He is FACS certified, is a member of the American Society for Bariatric Surgery, a member of the Society of American Gastro and Endoscopic Surgery, and is a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons.  He was born in the US and served in our military.  He practiced in the US for 10 years - as an organ transplant surgeon and working in trauma residency.  He also teaches bariatric surgeries to others in the US and Canada.  And in all of this he has ONE patient die.  Considering they are operating on very high risk patients to begin with - this is exceptional.    Fifth, by having the surgery in Mexico, I am not having to go further into debt - which means hopefully I can afford to pay for any complications that arise.  So - even though I would prefer to have the surgery locally - I have my reasons for going elsewhere.  I have joined a local support group which I think is a key factor to success.

So, my surgery is booked.  July 16th.  I fly out in the morning - arriving in Mexico around noon.  My friend will be flying in about the same time.  The driver from the Dr's office will pick us up at the airport and take us directly to the hospital.  At the hospital they will do a preop workup (EKG, bloodwork, etc) and as long as everything looks good I will have surgery that afternoon.  I will spend two nights in the hospital and two nights at a local resort where the Dr. will check in daily.  On July 20th, they will take myself and my friend back to the airport and we'll both fly home.  

I do have to do a two week preop diet.  The first week is basically eating healthy.  The second week is all liquids.   After surgery I will also be all liquids at first and then progress to soft foods and eventually to solids.  My stomach capacity will go from it's current size - to about 1/4 cup.  The idea behind gastric bypass is that you have both restriction (can't eat as much because your stomach capacity is smaller) and malabsorption (so of the food you eat you will absorb less of the calories/fat).  Unfortunately, this also means you absorb less of the vitamins.  So - for the rest of my life I'll need to be diligent at taking vitamins and having my levels checked.    The malabsorption of fat/calories only lasts for approximately 12-18 months because your body adjusts.  And during that time my stomach will stretch to approximately a cup.  So anyone who has gastric bypass has a 'golden window' for weight loss of about 12 - 18 months.  Weight can still be lost after that point but it will be much slower. 

So...that's my plan.  To kick ass for 12-18 months...to eat protein and drink water and exercise.  To lose as much as possible while I am in the golden phase.  To not waste a minute because I am paying dearly for this opportunity and I'm not going to take it for granted.  I am sure there will be times I will wonder what in the heck I did to myself - but ultimately I believe I am giving myself the gift of a better life.  My Mom once told me that it was great that I liked to give to others - but that until I learned to give to myself as well - that I would never be happy.  Well, it's time for me to be happy.